Diary entry, April 13, 2004

I remember this feeling.  It’s the feeling I have before/during a flashback—like I want to crawl out of my skin.  I just have to keep it at bay until Thursday.  I don’t want to do this while I’m alone.  And god knows Ryan doesn’t need to deal with it.  Thursday.  I just have to wait until Thursday.

Life, 1982

Notebook, March 28, 1988

I wish I could find this one flower.

I do not remember its name,

where I found it,

or why I was looking.

I have forgotten the color of

the day,

and the sky,

and which was brighter.

The only thing I can remember

about this one flower is

I plucked it,

then gave it away.

I wish I could find this one flower.

Triumph

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” 
― Albert Camus

Diary entry, January 13, 1984

I went sledding with Steve and Joe.  I went over jumps and everything.  I had lots of fun.  We stayed for a little over an hour.

Diary entry, March 14, 2004

Please be with me.  Please help me not to be afraid or resentful.  Please help me to accept where I am while at the same time never losing sight of hope.  Please help me to be grateful for what I have.  Please help me to see beauty when all seems so ugly.  Please never abandon me.

Hypocrisy

My words fly up, my thoughts remain below.

Words without thoughts never to heaven go.

--William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act 3 Scene 3