Diary entry, February 10, 1983

Dear Diary,

Nothing much happened today.  I don’t feel too good lately.  I suppose it’s just because of the lousy weather.  I guess I didn’t mention it, but some day we had off because we had so much snow.

Diary entry, April 27, 2014

10:57 a.m.

Working on this is giving me a fucking raging headache.

Serenity

Dream Journal, June 14, 2005

Had a dream last night that I was in school again.  It was the last day and I had to go to confirm that I wanted to withdraw—I needed to sign something, or else I’d receive an F in all of my classes.  I started to go but I forgot my backpack, and then I realized I didn’t have a shirt on, although I had a cape on, so I could cover up.  I somehow found a shirt but I was still without my backpack, and I was losing time.  

Finally I got to the school where they were setting up for graduation.  The entire area around the school (which now looked like a dark, forbidding castle) was being turned into some kind of hideous carnival designed & prepared by vicious monsters of all types.  There was one of those huge herbivore dinosaurs who, when it saw blood in its water, reminded the monsters that they said they’d stop putting “dye” in his water (he didn’t know it was blood).  The monsters just sort of snickered and went on their way.  I had to get through the monsters & past all of their traps to get into the school to sign the papers.  I don’t remember what happened after that.

Keep having dreams that Ryan is doing things he knows I don’t like & he doesn't care.  Wonder what that’s all about.

Indestructible

This sea                   filled with raging suspicions

polluted by the debris         of 1000 amazing inventions

not one in which I could believe

were you caught in the

firestorm of a million

conversations

or lost

in a dying admission

because just one thing I can show

and that is I am here                          

without you                         

alone

               

perhaps                 

just as it should be

but in our graveyard of

convictions

one last night

of fading ambition

your promise on the end of my fingertips

and it falls

it falls

daylight a shade too deep

I want to know

one day I must know

was it ever thus?

the clouds mirrored in our eyes

the end of apology

the apocalypse of

us

                

Hidden

Letter from Steve, 1990

I appreciate your patience with me.  Although I personally may feel I am doing nothing really wrong.  I do know that my lifestyle right now is one which you are not accustomed to seeing me in.  So, I can understand your "worry."  It isn't exactly necessary, but at least I am assured that you care about me.  I guess what I am trying to say is that I appreciate your concern - it makes me feel good to know that you haven't deserted me after all.