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Notes from meeting with Ruth, February 11, 2004

EMDR
calls up familiarity & then begins to desensitize & reprocess it

-abuse background
-paralyzed by anxiety

abdominal breathing - count to 5 - 7 (breathe in)
make sure abdomen rising
then hold 7
10 times
helps to relax

reassure myself that I'm safe & okay

not really about the book
working on plan to get to a better place

Awake

Letter from Steve, 1989

I got the two greatest turtlenecks for my birthday from our loving, charitable father.  (GAG!  Charitable toward charities, maybe!)  Anyway, the turtlenecks are really great, and I just KNOW that you're going to want to borrow my "time warp" variety turtleneck - it's striped red and black (narrow), and it's too cool looking to be true.  But it is, and I'm not complaining.

Dad's getting whacked out and I'm worried, but he's a big boy now, so I guess we'll have to let go of him.  He almost started getting all gross and nostalgic, but I managed to curb him well by simply changing the subject.  He's a sucker for that one.  Overall, I had a really good time, I guess.  He still tips like shit, though!

The Future, Unfinished -- early 1990s

Diary entry, February 10, 1983

Dear Diary,

Nothing much happened today.  I don’t feel too good lately.  I suppose it’s just because of the lousy weather.  I guess I didn’t mention it, but some day we had off because we had so much snow.

Diary entry, April 27, 2014

10:57 a.m.

Working on this is giving me a fucking raging headache.