Monday, 3 August 2015
Biography of a Girl, 2000
No, it is my mother who, I think, had the most profound impact on me. At once an amazingly brilliant goddess of sorts, only to morph in an instant into the most destructive force I have ever encountered. She is someone you love because you know she is special; and she is someone you hate because she let the ugliness suffocate almost everything good inside of her.
Sunday, 2 August 2015
Saturday, 1 August 2015
Poetry Journal, 1999
Because
this is your sickness
infecting all of my awareness
triumph is for dreamers
I cannot sleep another second
Tell me how it feels to
kill what is precious
Tell me your stories, they
make me senseless
this is your sickness
infecting all of my awareness
triumph is for dreamers
I cannot sleep another second
Tell me how it feels to
kill what is precious
Tell me your stories, they
make me senseless
Friday, 31 July 2015
Letter to the impossible dream, July 1998
About a month ago Erica passed along the message that you would be willing to begin writing to me so that we could re-establish contact. I've really thought about it and have decided that I think I would like to try this.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
This leads me to the next point, which is what I think would be beneficial for us to talk about, at least at first. While I don't want to limit the subject of our letters to some impossibly restrictive list, at the same time I don't want to get into what caused the separation, at least not yet. As I'm sure you know all too well, we can't solve our problems in a letter format, and I just don't think it would be useful to try. Instead I'm hoping that we can simply share things about each other's lives so that we can develop a level of trust; once that trust exists, we can then address what led me to take the steps that I did. I'm sure at some point we will both feel a need to discuss the choices we each made during these past six years, but that too is something that I believe is better left until a later date.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
This leads me to the next point, which is what I think would be beneficial for us to talk about, at least at first. While I don't want to limit the subject of our letters to some impossibly restrictive list, at the same time I don't want to get into what caused the separation, at least not yet. As I'm sure you know all too well, we can't solve our problems in a letter format, and I just don't think it would be useful to try. Instead I'm hoping that we can simply share things about each other's lives so that we can develop a level of trust; once that trust exists, we can then address what led me to take the steps that I did. I'm sure at some point we will both feel a need to discuss the choices we each made during these past six years, but that too is something that I believe is better left until a later date.
Thursday, 30 July 2015
Diary entry, January 11, 2007
I am sick of my dreams at night, sick of the struggle with myself about my past, sick of advice, sick of worrying about doing the wrong thing, sick of fear at all, sick of always waiting waiting waiting...
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