Monday, 28 September 2015

Legacy


I remembered watching from behind the door my mother sit on the edge of her bed, the shades pulled down and her body hunched over as if she had no strength to hold herself up, as she cried for the drunken husband who had disappeared once again.  It had taught me one thing:  make sure to close the door all of the way.  So only after I heard the door click shut did I sit on the edge of the bed, and cry for the husband who had forced me to leave him.

Sunday, 27 September 2015

Refugee

Mother with child, 2015

Tell it how because of you I lie.
If I could reach between the slivers,
I would spread the dirt across my neck and
arms and cheeks and I
would muddy your triumph.
But I cannot tell yet what
you have done to me.
I must instead murmur little rivers of
fantasies,
rapturous babbling to submerge what we
know, what we fear of you, the dirt and I,
together we have silenced the shouting
angels with tar-pitched wings.

Because I know, 
you are victory and you are vicious murder.
What a strange game, I acknowledge these bruises
and tumors and tragedies as they
mock me through the
ravaged ends of
my hair.

Shadows

This is not how I meant it to be.
This is not who I meant to become.
These are not the memories I
expected to replay in my
head as I remembered who
I once had been.


Saturday, 26 September 2015

Escape

Here in this leaving
triumph is fleeting
from so far away
no tongues left to speak in

Hiding


They found it, separately.  Sometimes one at a time, sometimes in small groups.  They all instinctively shied away from each other, accepted without argument that certain hallways would remain locked to them.  What did they want to see each other for, anyway?  They didn’t.  They didn’t, and they wouldn’t.

Once they had all arrived and found themselves their own shadowy corners, the teenage boy appeared.  He went to a courtyard in the middle, surrounded on all sides by brick walls with windows that opened from the inside.  On a white sheet spread out on the concrete ground he very deliberately started placing red plastic drinking straws.  No one watched him and he paid attention to no one else.

Over time the straws began to form an intricate pattern.  Those hiding in the brick building did not want to look at it, and when they did, they pretended not to understand.  Was it a formula, they asked?  The kind you needed to be a math genius to understand, perhaps?  They were not math geniuses, so they would never understand it.  Satisfied, they slid away from the windows. 

But the group of pirate boys living in the trees overhead did not leave.  They watched from the tree house they built high in the branches.  They knew what the red straws on the white sheet meant.  They knew it was a key.  A key to a map that would lead everyone in the building to the one place no one wanted to go. 

No one, that is, but them.

Friday, 25 September 2015

One more night


burned across my heart your forgotten message
the language lost in time with the words rewritten
resuscitate the girl she is out of breathing
collapsed under the hope she could not believe in
the soot was in her eyes she could only cry

was this my one great truth

            did I give up    
too soon?

Thursday, 24 September 2015

Another bad day

So you did it, and I'm not dead.
I'm not paralyzed, maimed, 
I have a life.
And, knowing who you are, I
can tell you to kiss off
without much reason for guilt.
But it is who I am,
It is what you have made me.
It is ugly way down here,
and the ugliness smells like you.