The Gordian knot

Whisper it to me while no one is listening

tell me I am a fool

tell me I am not

tell me something that makes sense

and then prove it

The Reckoning

     “I like your t-shirt,” I told her.

     The girl smiled at me.  It was a relief to realize she couldn't quite talk yet.  But when she gave me a little wave and turned to go with the dogs, I knew what she was saying.  She would be seeing me again soon.

Waves

It was not the water I feared but
the coming
down
the expelling of the clouds from
my lungs
I was not alone but I could
feel the earth
tearing

Imitation of life

This one last time                    come along with me                you run so slow I lost you centuries ago                     now is not where you said you would be               leaving me alone and out of breath                    this breakdown in the making                        where are you love      where are you sleeping            I am awake I am all aware      that I am here and you are there                         you do not belong to me         you do not belong to me

Whose truth will be accepted             as war rages against my memories                  I cannot say for certain what I expected          or even what I thought I believed      but I am jumping off the cliff into this pillow of air              while you are a voice warning me from the canyon floor                   because this is where you disappear               and where I wish for something more

Final moments

          “Let’s play a game."

          “Let’s," Megan returned, because Alturis wanted her to say no.  She refused to do anything he wanted her to, at least within reason.  If she had to die, it wasn't just going to be on his terms.

         “We’ll ask each other questions," he said.

         “Great.”

         “I’ll start."  Alturis set the gun on the table, as if daring her to reach for it.  When she just looked at him, he leaned forward, his eyes glittering with amusement.  “So tell me, Megan Cooper," he purred.  "What part of yourself would you most like to kill?”

         Megan had the feeling Alturis asked all of his victims this before he murdered them.  A part of her wanted to reply "athlete's foot," or "gonorrhoea," just to show him she wasn't afraid.  Instead she answered honestly, “My memory.”

         Alturis frowned and tut-tutted, like a teacher disappointed with his pupil.  “That would be too bad,” he said.  “Your memory is the only thing in life you own.”

         "If you want it, it's yours," Megan retorted.  "My turn now to ask you a question."

         He made a slight bow.

         "What's it like being a psychopath?"

         Alturis stared at her for a long, fraught moment.  His hand twitched over the gun before he burst out laughing.

Goodbye to all this

do you see where eternity ends
did you know that you were my friend
this planet a box that holds me

Beginnings and Endings

              Jack showed up on Sunday afternoon.   He muttered a vague greeting, then dropped down onto the couch.  “I was listening to the game on the radio,” he said.  “We are so hosed.”

              “Yeah.”

              “Got any beer?”

              “In the fridge.”

             Jack went into the kitchen.  When he came back he was carrying a beer in one hand, and the bag of Doritos Jonah had just bought in his other.  He opened the bag and set it on the table, so that it was within easy reaching distance of Jonah’s chair.  “This flavor is pretty good,” Jack said, crunching hard on a sample chip.  “Cool Ranch, huh?  I’ve never tried it before.”

            “It’s been out for a while now.”

            “No kidding?  Guess I’m pretty clueless when it comes to new trends in snack products.”

“There are worse things to be clueless about.”

“Yeah, like stats.  My fantasy football team is getting crushed this year.  I just haven’t had time to keep up, you know?”

“My team is pretty hopeless, too.  I'm in last place at work.”

“Your team is always hopeless,” Jack answered, grinning.  “But that reminds me—you wanna go bowling this Saturday night?”

            “I thought Kelly didn't like you to go out on weekend nights.”

            “Oh.  Yeah.  Well, she moved out.”

            Jonah tore his eye away from the T.V.  “She did?”

            “Yeah.  Yesterday.  She said she was just waiting until Mom died.”  Not looking at Jonah, Jack grabbed another handful of chips.  “She said I wasn't ‘emotionally available,’ or some bull shit like that, but I don’t know what she’s talking about.  I was home every single night, just about, and, I mean, I wasn’t going to give up poker night.  It was only once a month, for christ’s sake.”

            “Wow.”

            “Yeah.”

            “Well, you’ll find someone else.  You always do, right?”

“Not this time.   That’s it for me.  I give up.  Three strikes and you’re out.  I know I wasn't married to Sheila, but close enough.  I’ll never understand women.  They could be locked up in a room and studied for a thousand years by the world’s leading scientists and we still would never understand them.”

             “I don’t know…”  Jonah stared hard at the T.V. screen.  Thinking of Deb, he said, “I don’t think they’re all that different from us.”

             “Maybe not,” Jack answered; suddenly he sounded very, very tired.  “But if that’s true, it means we just aren't marriage material.  You and me, I mean.”  Jack shot Jonah an uncomfortable glance before he took a swig of his beer and pointed at the T.V.  “Look at that moron,” he said.  “A loss of two yards, when there was a huge hole right up the middle.  The Heisman curse strikes again.”