Saturday, 2 January 2016
The world underneath
June 3, 1993
I turn to face him
we stand there for a while
the grass is green from the rain
he does not know my name
I turn to him
I open my mouth and nothing gags
he listens
I turn to run I run run run
down the hill my arms stretched wide
I dive between the tall grass
the grass is tall from the rain
he calls for the daydreamer but I am gone
I am back laying in my bed
hating myself for the telling
it is too late
he does not know my name but he knows
there is no turning back
Friday, 1 January 2016
Endings and Beginnings
Yes, I wonder what those big oak doors
are saying
I wonder if I could read something carved
into their polished lines
because I am down here searching for some
sense of believing
when God isn't sending me any dreams tonight
Thursday, 31 December 2015
Safe place
February
12, 2007
The Hate List:
109. How you made me feel like I’m difficult and
crazy and no one else could ever put up with me.
Wednesday, 30 December 2015
The sound and the fury
and I am
thundering through
this what must
be
shattering the
glass with the howling
wind of disappointment
wrapped
around me
because this is
a study in endings
of our ending duly
recorded but
eroded by time
yes I am alone
that is my tree
on the hill
my grey sky to
raise my muted
expectations to…
Tuesday, 29 December 2015
Encroachment
December 23, 1991
Forgiveness infects a child slowly
as she watches her fantasy fall apart
as she watches reality explode into
slivers of melting ice.
Forgiveness comes slowly to her,
and she hates herself almost as much
as she hates you.
Monday, 28 December 2015
The trouble with memory
Kitty, however,
was coping with her own sense of rejection.
In her four and a half years at the University of Wisconsin, she hadn’t seen one sign of anyone from the Interior. If she didn’t still have the bracelet, she
might have convinced herself that she’d dreamt the whole thing up. She had even started to wonder if the
bracelet came from some rummage sale she’d been to with her mother, and that she’d
spun a fantastic story around, in her need to feel special. The more time that passed since her last
visit, the less real the Interior seemed, and the less she remembered about it.
Sometimes in her dreams she could
hear the King talking to her but, of course, she never saw his face. Nor could she recall what the apartment
looked like that she’d stayed in during her convalescence. The much-faded scar where the Minister’s
knife had gone into her side failed to jog her memory. Even when Kitty went to visit the Minister’s
grave, she found no marker, presumably because no one had known who he
was. Its absence only heightened her
sense of unreality. Not for the first
time did she wish Jack could remember his trip there, if only for someone to validate her experience. But she seemed
fated to just forget more and more about the Interior until, somehow, it would
cease to exist in her memory at all.
Sunday, 27 December 2015
Belief
Stretch me across your rack, my love
turn tight the wheels
I will not cry
I will not cry
since of course I should have known
that the moment I found the
heart to bring you here
I would be so much more alone
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