Thursday, 7 January 2016

Take warning



Kitty had been awake for ages by the time Leo reappeared in her vestibule.  It was strange to see him in something other than his guard’s uniform, but his unremarkable yet rugged outdoor gear no doubt made more sense for their mission.  
Neither of them spoke on their way to the stables.  A sleepy attendant brought Mars out to them before shuffling off to the warmth of the office.  Kitty could swear Mars gave her a disapproving, sidelong look; she frowned at him in return.  Why could no one understand what she was trying to do?
As if reading her thoughts, Leo said, “You are still certain, Miss Katharine?”
“I am.”
“You are very brave.”
“This isn’t about bravery,” Kitty said, because she knew how brave she wasn’t; she felt sure that any moment now she would throw up.  “This is about taking responsibility.  My father indirectly brought this onto your people, and as his daughter I’m the only one who can fix it.  So that’s just what I’m going to do.”
“While I admire your sense of duty, this conflict was many years in the making.  Had not the Minister led the movement, someone else would have.”
“Maybe, but that isn’t how it worked out.  Oh, and just so you know,” Kitty told Leo, her voice shaking slightly, “I’ve left a note in my room for the King in case something goes wrong.  I told the King it was all my fault and that I basically blackmailed you into helping me.  I’m sure he’ll believe it.”
His expression severe, Leo answered, “It makes no difference, Miss Katharine.  If something goes wrong the King will not care whose fault it was.  Now let us go, before he notices my absence.”

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Disguised


I could tell you a story
full of tomorrows and redemption
but who would we be
kidding
acceptance is the poison

In this lexicon of sorrow
I am too tired to speak for myself
if you saw miracles spring from darkness
I saw only memory
swathed in charcoal dusty
dream


Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Defiance


Dream Journal
February 3, 2005

I was trapped in a country that had been taken over by Nazis and they were looking for me.  People were trying to help me hide until I could find a way to get out of the country.  We had to run through the night, dodging soldiers, so these guys took me to their grungy student apartment.  I thought I would be safe there but the Nazis found us and we had to take off again.  While we were running a guy jumped out in front of me and took my picture—he was a photographer shooting random pictures for some reason—and I was really scared because now the Nazis could get that picture and know what I looked like.  We wound up in a strange museum that was loaded to the gills with old stuff just sort of lying around like a junk shop.  I don't know if we got away.  I just can't remember anything else.

Monday, 4 January 2016

Serenity


May 28, 1993

I am just so disappointed I am so at war I don't know
where my mountains and rivers and valleys are.


Sunday, 3 January 2016

Resurrection


Hey there bald man     are you afraid
The boy on the bicycle            your crayon face
This labyrinth              the map in his heart
trap doors you made   full of matter and space
Hey there bad man      be very afraid
The boy on the bicycle            he heard your name
The girl with the eyes              on the wall behind you
not the only one          who can identify you
And in this basement where bones pile           higher and higher
The avalanche of whispers        will one day enshrine you    
Hey there dead man    you left it too late
The boy on the bicycle            he is laughing away
No one can save             what is already departed

what you tried to kill  
                                 only just started


Saturday, 2 January 2016

Crash landing

it was not the water I feared but
the coming
down
the expelling of the
clouds from my
lungs


The world underneath


June 3, 1993

I turn to face him
we stand there for a while
the grass is green from the rain
he does not know my name
I turn to him
I open my mouth and nothing gags
he listens
I turn to run I run run run
down the hill my arms stretched wide
I dive between the tall grass
the grass is tall from the rain
he calls for the daydreamer but I am gone
I am back laying in my bed
hating myself for the telling
it is too late
he does not know my name but he knows
there is no turning back