Grief

Fool for waiting

Fooled into waiting 

for something 

more

Far Away

When you are a vanishing star

a galaxy stuffed into my little heart

Acceptance

“I like your t-shirt,” I told her.

The girl smiled at me.  It was a relief to realize she couldn’t quite talk yet.  But when she gave me a little wave and turned to go with the dogs, I knew what she was saying.  She would be seeing me again soon.

            

I did not want to see her.  I did not want to know her.  But none of that mattered anymore.  The girl in the cage belonged to me now. 

My heart hurt.  Thinking about the little dog in the woods, I lifted my hand to my nose. 

It smelled like cake.

Bonfires

Stretch me across your rack, my love

turn tight the wheels

I will not cry

I will not cry since I have

been dry for too long

I should have known

I should have known that

the moment I found the heart to 

bring you here

I would be so much more alone.

Escape

Tell the little girl the devil is pounding

on the gates,

salivating,

waiting.

God reserves a special place for you

it is where the clouds burst and bang

the loudest.

It is his business to forgive,

not mine.

His.

Frozen

Ursula sent Andy a long email, in which she denounced him as an emotional cripple.  She also compared him to her father, who had never loved anything but the family dog, and said neither one of them (Andy and her father, not the dog) had no idea what emotional intimacy was.   I’m sure you’ve already stopped reading by now, she sniffed at the end, but she was wrong.  Andy read the whole thing.   He even showed it to Jake, who had a good chuckle over it.  “Women,” Jake laughed.  “Always so damn superior.  Talk about needing a psychiatrist, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, whadya want with a chick named Ursula?  I’m telling you—stick to the women with normal names.  The ones who sound like they should be in a Bond movie are always psychopaths.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Andy answered.  But he wasn’t smiling.

Let go

The defense has become the obstacle
I cannot give it up
it is giving me up
it is waving goodbye
it has become boring
please please please
I look out of the bus window and I see
houses and a golf course
not ready
it keeps rattling at the gate
let me kiss you goodbye

just wait
just wait
just not ready yet

The defense has become the obstacle
there is no turning back.