War

Just when I was about to crawl out of my bed and find something to hang myself with, an elderly man wearing a clerical collar walked into the room.

I stiffened.

He held up a hand covered in age spots.  “I know I’m probably one of the last people you want to talk to, so I won’t stay long,” he said.  “I just wanted to sit with you for a little while, if that’s all right.”

My finger that hovered over the call button relaxed when he smiled.  It was not the smile of a maniac.  I knew what that smile looked like now. 

He took a step closer, enough for me to better see his face.  There was nothing special or particularly memorable about it, except for his eyes.  Green and blue swirled together, so that they reminded me of satellite photos taken of the earth from outer space.  “Don’t be afraid,” he said.  “God is with you.  You can rest now.”

He then patted my hand. 

I wanted to ask him where God had been while Vince tortured me in the barn, but the words didn’t come; exhaustion had, for the moment at least, extinguished my rage.  As I heard him settle into the chair next to me, I fell into a sleep so deep that I did not wake up again until the staff member came in with my breakfast. 

Fractured

broken bits of song    

tick off planets long gone

as greys and yellows burn from

inside out

melt
into forgotten scream

does it live deep within me

does it breathe alone               

will it break my heart

or just shatter my bones

Ghosts

I know nothing at all       only that in the end        everything is a lie      that suns do not live forever     and neither will I          

Getting away with it

just to see        just to fail       

            a tiger once caught                  by the tip of its tail     

                                     farewell farewell

                        my fairy tale

            farewell farewell…

Out there

the light 

a threat

and yet here I am

attempting to kill

what I have resurrected

instead

Into the sun

When I fell asleep I dreamt I was walking through the field of flowers I’d so spectacularly failed to paint.  I looked up at the sky, and there was the red dragon.  As he soared above me I wished I could grab hold of his wings and fly away forever.

Warning

This place I find you

the clouds mirrored in your eyes...