The Enemy Within

silence 

a mocking foe

shrouded    in hope

I was waiting where did you go        

you cannot say and I     I just do not know

from way over there

you do not echo anywhere

I am so

lost

the deadliest place is no place new at all

Magic's End

A couple of hours later Jack stomped into Jonah’s living room.  “It’s amazing we were born with any brains in our head, considering the morons who conceived us,” Jack said bitterly.  “No chemo, no radiation, no nothing.  She’s just giving up.”

“According to Dad, the doctors said it was hopeless.”

“And since when do doctors know what the hell they’re talking about?  They were using leeches like fifty years ago!”

“I don’t know about that.”

“My point is, even if it’s a remote chance that treatment would work, isn’t a remote chance better than no chance?” Jack snapped.  He dropped onto the couch.  “I just can’t believe this.  I had no idea.”

“She has been acting weird lately, I guess," Jonah said, but Jack was quick to retort, “Who can tell?  She’s always acting weird.  How was I supposed to know that this week it meant she had a fatal illness?”

Midnight

“It’s about Mom.”

Still watching the monitor, Jack said, “What about her?  Did she burn another pot roast on Sunday?”

“Yeah.  And she’s got a brain tumor.”

Jack whipped his head toward Jonah.  “A what?”

“A brain tumor.  They can’t operate on it.  Dad says she’s got a few months.”

“To live?”

“Yeah.”

Jack sat back in the booth; he looked as if someone had just hit him in the stomach with an empty beer pitcher.  “Holy shit!  How long have you known?”

“Since Sunday.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“You know how they are.”

Jack snorted, before his face fell again.  “But only a few months…really?”

Jonah nodded.

“She still has all of her hair, though!”

“They’re not going to do chemo.  It won’t help, so Mom doesn’t want it.”

“What about Dad?”

“He said it’s up to her.”

“Oh, great.  He’s leaving critical life-or-death decisions to the biggest ditz on the planet,” Jack said, and grabbed his coat.  “I’m going over there.  Someone has to talk some sense into her, and it seems like I’m the only one in this family willing to do it.  I’ll see you later.”

One

I have heard you

echo in the distance

I have heard you

whimper through the radio

It is my fault

I brought you here

We were so very much alone

Hiding in Plain Sight

“I just talked to Mom,” Jonah said.

His father looked away.

Neither of them spoke for a while.  Eventually Jonah asked him, “How long?”

“Three or four months.  They’re not sure.  Never are.”

“And there’s no treatment?”

“No.”

“You checked?”

“Yes.”

“Does Jack know?”

“Not yet.”  His father paused.  “Maybe you could tell him." 

Jonah did not particularly want to.  But something about hearing his mother sing “You Sexy Thing” in the other room prompted him to answer, “Okay.  I’ll tell him on Tuesday.”

Release

Tell her the devil is pounding

on the gates

salivating

waiting

God reserves a special place for you

It is where the clouds burst and bang

the loudest

It is His business to forgive

not mine.

Locked Away

“Oh, it’s some kind of tumor.”  His mother waved a dismissive hand.  “Who can understand a thing those doctors say nowadays?”

"But are you going to be all right?”

“Hmmmn.  Now where did I put that phone number again?”

“Mom,” Jonah loudly interrupted, “are you going to be all right?”

“What, dear?  Oh, that.  No, I don’t think so.  Tumors aren’t good, you know, and they can’t operate on it for some reason or another.”

“What are you saying?  Are you going to die?”

“Well, we’re all going to die, dear.”

“I mean soon!”

“It seems that way.  Can you help me find this phone number?”

Jonah stood there, watching his mother search the roll top desk that used to sit in Grandma Mueller’s dining room.  She’d missed a button on the back of her housedress, so that one of the tiny pink plastic buttons stuck out on top by the collar.  “Cheer up sleepy Jean,” she was singing to herself.  “Oh, what can it mean?  To a daydream believer, and a homecoming queen…”