Paradise Lost

Jonah's gaze drifted out the window.  It was cold even though the snow had ended and the sun now peeked out from behind the clouds.  In Wisconsin the coldest days were always the sunniest.

His father grunted next to him.  “Farmer’s Almanac says it’s going to be a wet spring.”

"Huh."

They both stood in silence for another minute or two. His father broke it with, “Have something to tell you."

Jonah looked over at him.  "What?" 

“I’m moving to Florida."

“You are?  When?”

“Heading to the airport now.  Just stopped in to let you know.”

“Now?  But the house-”

“Your aunt Louise is going to pack everything up and put it in storage.  The realtor says I’ll make a mint, and I already have that condo your mother and I bought down there.”  His father cleared his throat. “Be nice if you could visit.  The condo has a guestroom.  You’re welcome to use it.”

“…Yeah,” Jonah managed.   With a little smile his father patted his arm.  “Okay, then.  Tell Jackie I said goodbye.”

“You aren’t going to tell him yourself?”

“Didn’t get a chance to.  Give your Aunt Louise a hand if she needs it, all right?”

Jonah promised he would, and his father left.

For a while Jonah just stood there, staring at the snow-covered branches on the tree outside of his window.  He then picked up the telephone and dialed Jack’s number.

Fly Away

help me to turn my back from 
the open sky

help me to know

lovelorn and shorn of 
protection

what it takes to make you kind

Hindsight

“Who’s going to give the eulogy?”

Looking alarmed, their father said, “Not me.”  Jack turned to Jonah. “Then I guess it’s you.”

“Me!  Why me?”

“You were her favorite.”

As Jonah’s eyes widened in disbelief, Jack told him, “I couldn’t have a five minute conversation with her that didn’t begin and end with you.”

“She talked about you all of the time to me.”

“Don’t be selfish.  I’d be terrible at it.”

“You give seminars!”

“That’s different.”

“Boys,” their father interrupted, “that’s enough.  Jonah, you do it.  She would have liked that.”

“Why?”

“Well, you were the one who got to go to camp every year, weren’t you?” Jack snapped.  “I asked and asked but she said we could only afford to send one, and she always picked you.  She wouldn’t even alternate, you know, one summer for you and one for me.”

Trapped and miserable, Jonah said, “I hated camp.”

“A fine way to be grateful now that our mother is dead,” Jack shouted, and stormed out of the room. 

Tainted

You cannot keep what you 

forever have to

hide

Forgiveness comes cheaply outside

Here I stand within a million

miles of prairie grass

The storm is rolling in and I

am bankrupt once again

The Forest and the Trees

On Saturday morning she slipped into unconsciousness.   “It shouldn’t be long now,” the nurse told them.  Jonah's father cleared his throat.  “Need some air,” he said, and slipped out of the little curtained area.  Jack also drifted off, not offering a reason why.  The nurse gave Jonah a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.  "I'll check in soon," she said, and left him alone with his mother.

Jonah moved his chair closer to his mother's bed.  Her mouth hung open, and her face had a strange, vacant look to it.  He laid his hand on her arm and waited.  

A little while later his father pulled the curtain back.  "Where's Jackie?" he asked.

"I don't know."

His father shuffled over to the chair on the other side of the bed.  As he lowered himself into it Jonah saw the tears streaming down his father's face.  "Dad," he began, but his father waved him off.  "It's all right," he said softly.  "I always knew I would lose her someday.   I just thought someday was so much further away."  

Memory

Kiss the trees for me, lovely.

I am longing,

I am so afraid.

Cut Off

“This isn’t very much fun,” his mother told him.  When she tried to smile a teardrop rolled down her cheek.  “But that’s okay.  That’s okay.”  She closed her eyes again.  “Although I’d hoped I would die in the summer.  That would have been so much more pleasant for everybody.  Make sure you dress nice and warm for the funeral.”

“…Okay.”

“Good.  I don’t want you to catch cold.”

Jonah leaned forward, seized her hand.  “I love you, Mom.”

“Of course you do, dear.”  She gave his hand a weak squeeze and then released it.  “Now go see where your father is.  We don’t want him sneaking another cup of coffee, or he’ll be in the hospital next.  You might be grown up, but I don’t want to orphan you boys all together.”