Backwards

I know what hate is,

she said.

I know how to hate them

I know how to hate

myself.

So they sent her to someone who

could teach her to

forgive.

He had nothing to do with

God or Christs 
nailed to 
crosses.

It took a long time but
she learned
she learned not
to trust.  

Where is the forgiveness?
they asked.

God or the devil took it

away.

And now whatever you think

you’re going to

hear

is exactly what I am 
not

going to 

say.

Running Away

My head hurts.

Hmmmn, says George.

Yes.

George shrugs.  Sorry, but I can’t help you there.

Have you seen the statue?

What statue?

The statue, he says.  In the

middle of the courtyard.

I don’t go in the courtyard.

I suppose not, George replies.  You don’t

really go anywhere.

No.  Neither do you.

I’ve got the dolls with knives to

worry about, he reminds me.  What’s

your excuse?

It’s not just the dolls, I answer. 

Everything has knives.

Resurrection

Because roadsides exist

for the weary

the unsuspecting

Other than this we can expect

no more compassion

no more understanding

Justifications echo loudly

when even unintentional 

homicide

is death

Beholden No More

Her glassy eyes drove me mad.  In a fit of rage, I took the doll into the kitchen and grabbed a knife.  She said something in that dull, mechanical voice of hers as I slapped her down on the counter, but I refused to listen.  I raised the knife high in the air.  Like a human guillotine I then slammed it down across her neck. 

Her round plastic head jerked back, separated from its body.  She had time to cast me only one last glassy-eyed look before her head fell off the counter.  It rolled along the floor until it came to rest underneath the sink.

I laid the knife down.  With some uncertainty, I pushed my fist into her dolly stomach, but nothing happened.  She was silent at last.

I had killed it.  I had killed the purple witch’s doll.

Unleashed

you cannot come back they whispered into her ear
you belong to us but we don’t want you here
so now she skips off into a night without end
she looks behind her for the plagues they might send
i am one of them whether i am here or there
i am one of them my life you cannot spare
la la la la you cannot break the wall
la la la la it is a hundred feet tall
guarded all around by a thousand beastly men
their axes and their spikes pointed square at her neck
la la la la here it is I smile
la la la la we knew all the while
hum dum de dum together we will go
hum dum pu dum ours is not to know

The Ethics of Survival

we are not winners
we are mantras  
inspirational quotes on 
a poster
curling up in the corners
the two-sentence explanation
emptier than memories of
Christmas
we are the ones who know
up here not down there
next year will be no different 
go ahead
lay siege to our fortress 
we are winning at failure
you will never stop us

In This World

Where is                                  here I am        

gone home without you

when I would rocket from the world

out of an ocean impossibly asleep                                     

is the rain your final call

because I am wondering what this was for

           

why you ever loved me

why you do not anymore

there is no witness here

only ghosts of words that nudged into breath

the shape of a fool      shivering and wet       

your blanket thrown over the bed one cold night too late

 my eyes, heavy with dreams 

but you—                  

very much awake

how I welcomed the chance to be wrong

to never ask why you had to leave

why you had to come at all

was it to drift away from this eroding shore

or was it

not wanting to be sorry

not wanting to be felt sorry for

one last secret for memory to keep

Now our half-truths ship out

under cover of a cloud-filled sky

the sun you once spoke of

never any friend of mine

                                   

can you feel it rain

can you?