Stumbling

 

I am wondering

my footsteps crunching

punching through the frost

are you scared

are you lost

so am I

 

memory scraping

an outstretched hand humming

warmth from another time

did you believe

did you try

so did I

 

a tuneless buzz repeating

its pitiless reshaping of

the empty sounds inside

do you keep breathing

do you see meaning

evaporate in the 

sky

so will I

Anniversary

 

The huddle on the floor

where sympathy died

the last morning of our life

                not even jealousy could save me

you cried

cried

cried

and I

this decade weighed so heavy

salt kept me from drowning

two doors and now goodbye

goodbye

theft is nothing special but

compassion is a

lie

And then Covid came...

with the jagged spring snows

an acute reminder that nothing is

a promise 

all on its own

Gone

I am left waiting on the hill

shaking with knowledge of

lost connections

I am left on the pier with 

memories of the dead

their sorrow pointed toward

the horizon

Hindsight

Brutalized by

hope

and expectations

where have I been?

What I thought was a beginning

was the beginning of my

end

 

Journeys

No one is going there with you

the grey lady ghost

hijacked memories on

the side of the road 

and the girl in the rear view mirror

the last truth you never wanted

to know

Another Beginning

Chicago/February, 1980

What do I remember about that day? 

Julia crying in the kitchen. Alex hiding upstairs.

A tall, dark-haired man in Julia’s living room. Telling me, I’m your brother. You’re going to live with me now.

My own terror.

But when he smiled and held out his hand, all I knew was love.