Guilt

 

I had no idea she said

nothing whispered through the water

just metal scraping

scratching disguised as

luck

 

Distance

Irregardless
him and I
the least of your
crimes
only you
no 

not only me
or projections maybe
a voice that scraped
words away
I am always gone longer
than I think

Dread

It was there, the blood
all the evidence anyone
could ever need
lower your eyes
look
but no
straight ahead 
yet again

Misapprehension

My hands under the water

not wondering

but knowing

I tried not to inhale

but then the war came

and it was all forgotten

go ahead and read it to

them

I might catch up again

one day

Fractured

“Alturis told me about his brother,” Megan said.  When Andy frowned, she asked him, “Did you know what was going on?”

“Not until we found the Bergens.  Even then we didn’t know it was him until someone tipped us off.  But I thought he’d come after me—I never thought in a million years that he’d go after you.”

“Well, he didn’t really.  He was just confused.  He said good henchmen were hard to find.”

Andy laughed bitterly.  “I guess so.”

“It’s not like you can advertise for them.”

“No.”

“But are you going to be all right about the Bergens?  Because it wasn’t your fault.”

Andy’s smile faded.

“Don’t let it ruin your life,” Megan told him.  “They wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“Yeah,” Andy said.  He gazed out of the rain-streaked hotel window.  “Anyway, don’t worry about me.  You just worry about yourself.  I guess you’ll sell the house?”

“It was time, anyway.  Hopefully it won’t take too long.  A friend of mine who’s a real estate agent says that everything that happened will only make it more attractive to potential buyers.  I guess there are people out there who like houses with a back story.”

Andy shook his head.  “People are strange.”

“Sometimes.”

“Will you stay in town, though?”

“I don’t know.  I have a friend who’s a principal in Madison and they just had a teacher suddenly retire due to illness, so she’s offered me the job.  I think I might take it.”

“Well, good for you.  I hope it all works out.”

“Me, too.”

In the silence that followed Megan thought again about the cat who Andy had released all of those years ago.  She wondered if he remembered it now, or if he had moved too far forward from those memories.  So many creeping along the path behind them, just waiting for their chance...

Andy shifted, as if aware of where her thoughts had gone.  “So, anyway,” he said, “I just wanted to stop by, because I’ll be heading off to Chicago tomorrow.”

“Does that you mean you’ve made a decision about your job?”

“I talked to my boss when he was here.  We have everything worked out.”

“That’s great,” Megan said.  “I’m sure you did the right thing.”

“Thanks.  And, Meg—it was good to see you again.”

“You, too.”

Andy headed for the door, but stopped when he reached it.  “So I guess you’re going to hate me forever, huh?”

“Oh, no.  Not at all.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“You’ll let me know if you ever need something?”

“Definitely.”

“Good,” Andy answered, and let himself out of the room.  

Megan sat down on the edge of the bed.  It was technically summer outside, but the hotel room was cold.  She wondered if she would ever feel warm again.

Cornered

Hey there old man     are you afraid

the boy on the bicycle            your crayon face

the girl with the eyes              on the wall behind you

not the only one          full of matter and space

And in this basement 

where bones pile

higher and  higher

The avalanche of whispers 

will one day 

deny you    

the walking death          you left too late

the boy on the bicycle            he is laughing away

no one can save what is already 

departed

and what you thought finished 

only just started

The Danger Within

This sea            filled with raging suspicions

polluted by the debris         of 1000 amazing inventions

not one in which I could believe

were you caught

in the firestorm of a million

conversations

or lost

in a dying admission

because just one thing I can show

and that is I am here                          

without you                         

alone

               

perhaps                 

just as it should be

but in our graveyard of

convictions

one last night

of fading ambition

your promise on the end of my fingertips

and it falls

it falls

daylight a shade too deep

I want to know

one day I must know

was it ever thus?

the clouds mirrored in our eyes

the end of apology

the apocalypse of

us