Friday 23 December 2016

Addiction



I left you                                                                    
                        I did
that was me who limped behind
who whimpered and begged as
fear threatened me blind

            but I left you
                        yes, I did

Your voice now I must ignore
oh, and it sears and it soars, and it
roars with the ferocity of a
jungle cat

            because I left you back there
            with the imploring stare
            on your face

                        yes, I did

Old truths fill the
black hole where
I buried the leaking need
for you
I know all about incurable wounds

            So much and for so many weepy and
            lonely afternoons
            I meant to leave you
            for so much, my friend
                        and I did

It cost me the destruction of an atomic rage
poisoned the air with its smoke-orange memories
maybe it will melt my blistering heart
maybe it will leave me to freeze in the
drift of its nuclear winter
when the death that crouches in wait for me
crouches close for you, too

            forgive me for pulling this scratchy scarf
            over my eyes  
            forgive me, love, because I was made to leave you

                        and I did

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