Saturday, 26 September 2015

Hiding


They found it, separately.  Sometimes one at a time, sometimes in small groups.  They all instinctively shied away from each other, accepted without argument that certain hallways would remain locked to them.  What did they want to see each other for, anyway?  They didn’t.  They didn’t, and they wouldn’t.

Once they had all arrived and found themselves their own shadowy corners, the teenage boy appeared.  He went to a courtyard in the middle, surrounded on all sides by brick walls with windows that opened from the inside.  On a white sheet spread out on the concrete ground he very deliberately started placing red plastic drinking straws.  No one watched him and he paid attention to no one else.

Over time the straws began to form an intricate pattern.  Those hiding in the brick building did not want to look at it, and when they did, they pretended not to understand.  Was it a formula, they asked?  The kind you needed to be a math genius to understand, perhaps?  They were not math geniuses, so they would never understand it.  Satisfied, they slid away from the windows. 

But the group of pirate boys living in the trees overhead did not leave.  They watched from the tree house they built high in the branches.  They knew what the red straws on the white sheet meant.  They knew it was a key.  A key to a map that would lead everyone in the building to the one place no one wanted to go. 

No one, that is, but them.

Friday, 25 September 2015

One more night


burned across my heart your forgotten message
the language lost in time with the words rewritten
resuscitate the girl she is out of breathing
collapsed under the hope she could not believe in
the soot was in her eyes she could only cry

was this my one great truth

            did I give up    
too soon?

Thursday, 24 September 2015

Another bad day

So you did it, and I'm not dead.
I'm not paralyzed, maimed, 
I have a life.
And, knowing who you are, I
can tell you to kiss off
without much reason for guilt.
But it is who I am,
It is what you have made me.
It is ugly way down here,
and the ugliness smells like you.


This one flower


Stunned, hurt, and on the verge of tears, Josie stared at the spot where the King had just been standing.  She had known it was impossible—that she could never stay in the Interior, and that he would never cross over.  Neither of them would have dared ask the other to make such a huge sacrifice.  But at the same time she’d told herself that, although they couldn't truly be together, she would at least be able to see him sometimes.  That he would just completely disappear from her life—she hadn't considered that possibility for a moment.  Not after everything they’d been through together.  His impersonal thanks on behalf of his people…she never would have believed it would end like that. 
And yet it had.

Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Regrets


When all aboard ride the night train alone
mark the passing of the time with the
falling of the
snow
No use in unpacking for tomorrow    
tomorrow is a thousand midnight
dreams of summer
away.

Remains of this day

Sometimes I'm okay.  It’s just that I keep coming back to the not being okay.  I don’t want to keep coming back.  I want to forget the way, so that I can never come back here again.  I want to walk out of these hallways, out into the light, and never look back.  I want the boy with the red straws to wave goodbye to me from the stoop, a little smile on his face, because he knows I will never be back.  I want to leave all of the dogs and cats with him, because I know he’ll take care of them.  I want to see Mike jumping up and down, hear him shouting, “Good luck,” while Mary laughs at him.  I want Helga and even Ron and all of the others to be gathered behind the pirate kids, everyone waving goodbye and none of us feeling sad because this was how we all, secretly in our heart of hearts, hoped it would end.  I want to leave them to turn the giant, dark school building with the hallways that go everywhere and nowhere into a university with courtyards and windows and signs with directions.  I want them to leave me to walk off into the forest illuminated by mid-day sun. 

The morning has gone.  All I want now is the afternoon.  Please.


Tuesday, 22 September 2015

The first conversation with George


George wants to know what we’re going to talk about.
Well, I don’t know, I tell him. 
I guess about what’s on the other side of the wall.

Okay, he says, what’s on the other side of the wall?

Grass, I answer.  And trees.  England.  Dogs.  Cats
Birds and cows and children and French fries.
Music, some of it beautiful.  Pictures and art.
Questions about steam and smoke and words that
cannot be pronounced.
All of these things and more.

Hmmmn, he replies, I know about most of
those things. 
I’m not sure what’s in it for me.

You can’t want to be inside of those walls,
I protest.
It must be boring, and so lonely.

Boring, no, he says, because I still have
my mind.
Lonely, sometimes.  But I wasn’t made to
feel much.

I could ask what you were made to do,
I reply.
But I don’t think I want to know.